eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
