so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
