Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
