Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
