FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
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