I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
whose ass print is on the piano?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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