When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
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