mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
