somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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