I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
