I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
