dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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