Already got asked if we're dating
I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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