Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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