Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
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