No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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