The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
