The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
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