as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
