I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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