handjob tips. give me some.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
