we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
