If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
pop tarts are not kleenex
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
