Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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