he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
