Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
