You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
