i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
