So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
