im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize