the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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