Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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