Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
