I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
