i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
