sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
When are your genitals available?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
