PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Boobs are out for the taking
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Holy shit dude........stairs
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize