just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
