In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
