we're blogging at a bar
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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