Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
