My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
there is glitter all over my balls
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
