STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
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Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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