Having a random hookup so left but love u
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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