I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
