this beer tastes like vomit already
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
