he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
