he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
