Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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