I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
