Her vagina should come with caution tape.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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