i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
