somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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