dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I would ride that face into the sunset
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
