I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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