so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize