We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
