I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
