we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
