yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Slut skills are useful in every country.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Randomize
