do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
How does one acquire holy water?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
