and you said cock pushups were impossible
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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