I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
